So, yesterday I had an email from Liz de Jager, someone I’ve corresponded with for a few years but only met a few times. The email contained useful information of the kind that can assist those of the car-accident-career persuasion; people like me, for example.
I have nothing but my words to give in return. So here they are, Liz – a bit pants but what can you do?
Browne and Woolley were a pair
Of partners making underwear;
Their undergarments duly famed
As haute couture were aptly named.
They made vests to snugly fit
The genius or utter twit.
They made them too to tightly wrap
The chubby lass or skinny chap.
But work it out I cannot fully
Why they made them brown and woolly.
They made tights to cling to legs
The size of trees or wooden pegs.
Their tights would stay up very well
In turbulence or ten foot swell.
They made knickers of all kinds
To line all manner of behinds.
Knickers that could bare that brunt
And in the bargain, cover fronts.
But understand I cannot fully
A gusset that is brown and woolly.
The corsets they were famous for
Could well contain a civil war.
And such a garment, tightly laced
Would narrow down the widest waist.
Of bras that came in just one colour,
We used to think, “What could be duller?”
Now they are a fashion must
That hold up any size of bust.
But comfortable I am not fully
In sub-apparel brown and woolly
Be you large or be you small,
Be you short or be you tall,
Do not let your wardrobe lack
A Browne and Woolley starter pack.
In it you are sure to find
The nethertogs to blow your mind.
No more chills and no more sagging
With Browne and Woolley underlagging.
But comprehend I cannot fully
Those underpanters Browne and Woolley.
A post about teaching novel writing and how conflicted I am on the subject will follow soon…